Why in the name of all the gods, am I so into this?

So, I figure that as we visit more churches, and I write and reflect more, I'll see some kind of growth of awareness of why other people believe, what they believe in, and as extension, what I believe in. I have to admit, I was taken by surprise today when Lauren and I went to meet with this Mormon prof about their faith and I found myself agreeing with much of what he said. For one thing, he has a PhD and he approaches faith academically. For another thing, he said things that struck a chord with me. One was that Mormons do not believe in the Nicene Creed (something I've always thought was BS). Another: when you die you don't suddenly become something else, but rather go to another place - as yourself. There were others, but I'll have to think about them.

I'm going to be a bit self-reflexive, so you (throngs of admirers) can skip the rest of this, but I'd like to get it out while I'm thinking about it. I've long been fascinated by these 19th century religions, for one thing because they're so recent and adherents are so enthusiastic about them (Jehovah's Witnesses, Seventh Day Adventists, Christian Scientists, Mormons). For another, they seem, generally, to fit well with Weber's theory of rationalization. It's something that both fascinates and repels me, like most aspects of modern culture. It's the cleanliness, maybe; the efficiency, the presumption of progress through effort. Mormons are the ultimate expression of this: if protestantism gave rise to capitalism, then Mormonism is its perfection. I need to think more about it, but I think that Mormonism could represent more than just the "renewal of God's word" on earth; I think it could represent a truly American, and so truly modernist, cultural turn.

On a totally different note, I told Lauren about "my" Jehovah's Witness, Joan. Joan came to my house every week when I was a young ... um ... child. My mind was open to information in general, and I was willing to stand at the door for an hour or so every week and talk to Joan. My mom wouldn't speak with her, though Joan would pass me a Watchtower or two to give to my dad. I don't think that Joan ever thought I was going to convert, but I think she got some kind of comfort from trying, or maybe she just liked the company when so many people probably slammed their doors in her face. Anywho, Lauren said she felt some guilt because she had no intention of converting and (I presume) doesn't want to lead on the missionary girls. I don't have the same hangups; first, I don't have any intention of converting, but I guess I can't rule out the possibility and second, that's what missionaries are there for: to tell you about their gods. I'm happy to learn about the Mormon gods; I hope there's more than one (I've heard you too can become a god, so I'd like to think of the very blond, cute pantheon of Mormons up there) and there are so many questions I have for them. Like, if your spirit and your physical body are reunited at the resurrection, is your race eternal? Your gender? (I think they'd say that one's a yes).

I won't convert, but I'll leave this with one more self-reflexive thought on religion. My friend Sarah's mom used to talk to me about Buddhism and all these things that she believed in, and I wonder why religion and lifestyle are intertwined. Of course my friend's eccentric pseudo-buddhist mom was a hippie, and she wore flowing skirts and talked about auras. And of course, Mormons wear suits and don't drink caffeine. Why? Couldn't a Mormon just be like, you know, I'm all into the stuff you're preaching, but I'm also really into coffee and beer?